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Moderators: Terry E. Return to Sexual Abuse and Incest Forum. Psychology and Mental Health Forum. Advanced search. Our partner. Forum rules You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature.
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Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums. Thank you for your cooperation. The Mod Team. Post a reply. That crazy time my own father gay molested me by randomdude » Sat Mar 17, am Things were not always nice at our house, but it was extremely important that we always pretended they were.
She did completely gay incest forums up gay incest forums life for our family. When I was alone with her it was the best time ever, she was kind and nurturing. But if my dad showed up, we all changed. He was authoritarian, aggressive, controlling, and miserable. He verbally abused my mother incessantly for my entire childhood. She would argue back. They would both be angry and hurtful to each other. It never seemed to matter in their he one bit that their screaming at each other was incurring right in front of me, all the time. On most days of my childhood, there was a point when all happy feelings were instantly cut off and replaced with sad feelings due to a fight in front of me.
There were plenty of times that my parents were using the silent treatment on each other and, as a consequence, no one would be speaking to me either. There were plenty of times when their fighting caused me to start crying in front of them. They would continue fighting and not notice I was crying. There were times where my mother left the house as a result of an argument. I did not know when she was coming back and I have never liked being alone with my dad.
Dad was a problem drinker, in my earlier memories he would visit the bar two or three nights per week. He would often come home severely drunk. Sometimes he was a violent, mean, angry drunk. I remember seeing him take off his shoe and fling it at my mother.
She avoided it but it hit the glass on our stove so hard it shattered into pieces. He also threw a knife at her during this altercation. I have seen plenty of fights end in smashed items or damage to the house. I never saw dad hit mom. It was just violence around her and emotional and verbal abuse. She never seemed happy, so I wanted so desperately to make her happy. Mom was more of the disciplinarian. Mom disciplined me at a young age with spanks and slaps to the body and limbs.
I would also be given the silent treatment if I hurt her feelings. Overall, I was not subject to harsh discipline or physical gay incest forums by either parent. However, I did witness an incident that has been clearly burned in my memory: My middle brother was always in trouble. It was a just string after string of costly and embarrassing incidents for my parents.
This time he had a neighborhood friend who moved to a different area code and he ran up an expensive long distance telephone bill by calling his friend without my parents knowledge. We were all at the dinner table when my dad found out. My dad was about pounds, my brother was probably at the time. My dad bull charged him, picked my brother up off his feet, and slammed him to the ground. My middle brother lay for some time writhing in agony after he was jumped on.
I have somewhat vague memories of him being badly injured and having to go to the hospital as a teen on a few occasions. He has had kidney dysfunction as an adult. When I saw my dad do what he did to my brother, I formed a belief that if I disappointed my father he would kill me.
There was no way, my fifty pound body could withstand what he did to my brother. I carried this belief around for a of years. If I got in trouble for my behavior, broke something at the house, if I got a bad grade on a test, if I was caught having not done my homework, I would panic and begin sobbing, because I felt there was a strong possibility that I would be killed when my father found out about this. I always cried way more than everyone else in elementary school because of this. Boys, girls, and teachers repeatedly made fun of me for this and made comments disparaging me.
My brothers called me cry baby, my dad made me feel like a sissy. I was lightly disciplined and not physically abused because I always complied with my parents demands and expectations. Even after I realized the chances of my father killing or even hurting me in any way narrowed to 0 as I grew into an adult. I still felt the need to make life decisions based on his expectations.
My oldest brother graduated in and began that Fall attending a university 70 miles from home. I felt like I lost a protector. My middle brother did physically abuse me and mentally torture me as a. I began to live in fear of him too. If I were to pass him in the hallway, I would drop to the floor and curl up in a fetal position to protect my organs from the blow I expected to receive.
I guess I kind of preferred it that way because I got even more scared of my parents when he left, and it definitely felt like I had to deal with this dysfunction all on my own now. My middle brother graduated in and left for basic training in Missouri during the summer. In the fall ofI was eight and starting the third grade. My middle brother had completed basic training and my mom wanted to go see his ceremony and visit him. My dad did not want her to go or would not allow my mom to go. My mom went with her parents, against his command. I think it caused a massive fight that probably crushed my spirit so much I have trouble recalling the details.
I then realized that I would have to spend some time alone with my dad if they divorced and I was terrified of that prospect. In the wake of this world-shattering argument, my mother left me in the gay incest forums of my angered father for a few days while she went on the road to Missouri with her parents to see my brother.
When the school bus dropped me off at home the day she left, no one was there, I was kind of shocked that gay incest forums mother actually did leave me and I was dreading my father coming home any minute. But he never did.
I eventually put myself to sleep. In what seems like the wee hours of the night I was awakened by loud noises coming from the front of the house and speech that instantly made me know my father had come home and he was extremely intoxicated. I heard his footsteps come down the hall and I prayed that he turns into his room and goes to sleep. But I had a real bad feeling.
There was a burst of noise as my bedroom door flew open. The monster came after me in my bed. I shouted and panicked and tried to avoid the monster, but it got me and it was pulling me out of bed. I knew that I was going to be killed on this night and I was struggling to save my life.
It dragged me to its bed and laid me down. A wave of relief crept over me, as I realized the monster only wants me to sleep with it, it gay incest forums not want to kill me tonight. I do not want to sleep with it, but I will make it happy if gay incest forums is not hurting me. The feeling of relief was quickly interrupted by feeling the touch of the monster on my right side and then the forceful grip of the monster on my right forearm.
The grip pulled at my arm. My forearm and my hand kept moving closer to the monster. I knew my father was nude and that he had put my hand on his genitals. I felt immediate revulsion and jerked my body around as fast as I could. He tried to grab my arm again, but his fingers did not get a hold and I slipped out of that grasp. I continued jerking my body around until I flew off the side of his bed. The monster says something. It is the pet name he uses for my mother. I ran in terror, sensing the monster was going to chase me down. I made it to my room and shut the door.
I decide not to call the police, but dial 9 and 1 on the phone, so I will only have to press 1 if the monster comes back. I did not sleep much that night. I realized that the monster was trying to make me touch his privates and I was confused and scared by what happened and the thoughts I was having at the time. Thoughts which I clearly remember having: 1. I touched my gay incest forums privates.
Only his wife touches a mans privates. Is my dad making me his wife. Am I replacing my mom because she left. Will my mom comeback if she finds out I have replaced her, will she hate me, will I ever see her and be loved by her again. Did my dad just turn me into a girl? How he could he take my boyness away from me? Why would he want to do that to his own son?
What my dad did to me was have sex with me. I have heard about sex and it has to do with touching people when they are naked. I have had sex. Women get pregnant from sex.
My life will be so shameful if I have my father;s baby. Everyone will reject me. Because we are related the baby will be mutated and I will be a public spectacle and outcast. But what if I grow into a girl?Gay incest forums
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